In this episode of Better Sex, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, guest Zach Brittle, a couples therapist, dives into the concept of negative sentiment override (NSO) in relationships. Brittle discusses the difference between personal and couples therapy, his journey to specializing in couples therapy, and the impact of NSO on intimate relationships. He explains the research from the Gottman Institute, which shows how negative sentiment can distort reality and create challenges in couples’ interactions. Brittle and Zimmerman also explore practical strategies for couples to shift from a negative to a positive sentiment, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, gratitude, and challenging one’s interpretations. The episode touches on how sex life ties into these dynamics and offers actionable steps for couples aiming to improve their relationship.
00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast
00:46 Exploring Couples Therapy with Zach Brittle
04:08 Understanding Negative Sentiment Override
04:19 The Gottman Institute and Empirical Research
06:55 Practical Applications in Therapy
13:52 Challenging Interpretations and Resistance
20:05 Free Resources and Desire Discrepancy
20:31 The Impact of Early Life Strategies on Relationships
22:54 The Safest Place to Act Out
24:07 Emotional Intelligence and Therapy
25:12 Recognizing and Addressing Unhappiness
26:06 Building Positive Sentiment
27:28 The Gottman Method and Friendship
31:41 Sexual Connection and Relationship Health
36:08 Practical Tips for Positive Change
37:40 Curiosity and Alternative Responses
42:50 Final Thoughts and Resources
Find all my desire discrepancy resources at https;//www.desirediscrepancy.com
Zach has been teaching, coaching, mentoring, and counseling couples for nearly 20 years. He is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC), a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT), and a Relational Life Therapist. He is the host of Marriage Therapy Radio and the author of the bestselling relationship guide The Relationship Alphabet and The Marriage Therapy Journal. His writings and insights have been featured in Vanity Fair, Men’s Health, Real Simple, The New York Times, and The Washington Post. Zach has been happily married to his wife Rebecca for 25 of their 28 years together. They live in Seattle with their two adulting daughters. Learn more about Zach at zachbrittle.com.