387: Bad Marriage Advice

May 4, 2026 | Latest Episodes, podcast

Click to Listen on Substack

On Better Sex, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews relationship coach Monica Tanner about her book Bad Marriage Advice, written initially for her son before his marriage. Tanner shares how her parents’ divorce and her own early marital struggles led her to study relationships and train in Relational Life Therapy and sex-related coaching. They discuss common couple dynamics (pursuer–distancer, fighting, withdrawal), how unskillful communication erodes trust and leads to resentment and “roommate syndrome,” and why thriving marriages require learned relational skills rather than fairy-tale expectations. They address sex myths, the need to discover and communicate desires, and the idea that emotional connection and sexual connection are related but distinct systems requiring intentional work. Tanner critiques clichés like “compromise,” “happy wife, happy life,” “don’t go to bed angry,” and “don’t sweat the small stuff,” and suggests practices like regular “sex talk Tuesday.”

00:00 Show Intro
00:45 Meet Monica Tanner
01:33 Why Relationships Matter
04:28 Common Couple Dynamics
06:40 Romance Myths And Control
08:42 How Sex Gets Impacted
10:23 Love Versus Desire
12:44 Jess Quick Break
13:13 Bad Sex Advice Myth
15:12 Compromise Versus Collaboration
16:59 Cliche Advice Debunked
18:33 Learning Relationship Skills
21:17 Healing Childhood Wounds
23:34 Rebuilding Spark And Context
26:04 Book And Where To Find
27:23 Final Outro

Want to work with Jessa? https://www.intimacywithease.com

Bio:
Monica Tanner, RLT trained, Relationship Coach and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast, transforms marriages with simple communication, connection, conflict resolution and commitment strategies. Her mission is to lower the divorce rate and improve marital satisfaction. Through her engaging podcast, new Amazon Best-Selling book, Bad Marriage Advice, vibrant social media community, and couple’s coaching practice, Monica’s expert guidance has impacted thousands of couples, by helping them ditch resentment and roommate syndrome and get back to living their happily ever after love story.

www.badmarriageadvice.com
www.monicatanner.com