389: Adventures in Polyamory

May 11, 2026 | Latest Episodes, podcast, Published Authors

Click to Listen on Substack

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Natalie Davis about how her marriage shifted from assumed monogamy to swinging and then polyamory after an affair about 15 years into her relationship. Davis describes early insecurity, rules for safety, and how communication and healing helped her and her husband rebuild trust. She explains kitchen-table polyamory, living in a “resident V” with her husband and his other partner (her metamour), and the mundane realities of sharing a household alongside dating others. They discuss jealousy, consent, STI awareness, the lack of legal protections for non-monogamists, and how polyamory can require “graduate level” communication. Davis shares that she wrote a memoir, Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, publishing January 13, 2026, and where to find her online.

Note: Natalie wanted to make sure to credit the person who coined the word “polyamory” in 1990: Morning Glory Ravenheart Zell

00:00 Welcome to Better Sex
00:44 Meet Natalie Davis
01:56 From Monogamy to Poly
03:33 Swinging After Infidelity
06:23 Healing and Rebuilding Trust
11:16 Coming Out and Risks
14:11 Writing the Book
16:38 Kitchen Table Poly
19:09 Life in a Resident V
22:54 Jealousy and Communication
26:01 Dating Beyond the Household
28:16 Sex Life Pros and Cons
32:47 Skills for Doing It Well
35:21 Book Details and Where to Find
36:47 Final Thanks and Wrap Up

Jessa’s quizzes are available:
The higher desire partner quiz: https://intimacywithease.com/hdp-higher-desire-partner-mistake-quiz/

The lower desire partner quiz: https://intimacywithease.com/ldp-lower-desire-partner-mistake-quiz-organic/

Bio

Natalie Davis is the author of the new poly memoir, “Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory” (pub date Jan. 13, 2026).
She is the editor of the online publication Polyamory Today, and her work has appeared in Heart Affairs, Discovering Polyamory, Monogamish, and The Memoirist. Her opinions on polyamory have been published in The Washington Post.
She has presented workshops on communication and non-monogamy across the United States. A recovering lawyer, she lives in the Washington, DC, area, with her partner and marvelous metamour. You can find her on Instagram, Medium, and her website as nataliedavisadventures.