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In this soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains why partners can’t rely on a fixed “recipe” for pleasure because desire and sensation change over time and even from day to day—“Tuesday is different than Thursday.” She emphasizes that each person is responsible for their own pleasure: learning what feels good, staying curious about what they want in the moment, and sharing that information so a partner can be responsive. Zimmerman reframes feedback as a gift rather than criticism, noting that most partners want to please but don’t have the instant feedback loop of masturbation unless they receive clear cues. She encourages developing language to describe touch, using words and demonstration, and building the skill to speak up so partners can adjust speed, pressure, and pacing to what feels best.
00:00 Show Intro
00:44 Soapbox Setup
01:04 Own Your Pleasure
02:08 Feedback Not Criticism
02:43 Find the Words
03:35 Tuesday vs Thursday
04:31 Outro and Credits