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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Junvi Ola, who shares her personal story of overcoming vaginismus, a condition that prevented her from having intercourse until the age of 36. Junvi discusses her journey, which included working with a sex therapist, using dilators, and eventually hiring a surrogate partner. The episode provides insights and inspiration for those facing similar struggles, highlighting the bravery and determination required to break through such challenges.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast
01:46 Junvi’s Personal Story Begins
02:30 The Impact of Early Experiences
03:42 Struggles with Intimacy and Seeking Help
06:09 Discovering Vaginismus
07:46 Therapy and Overcoming Mental Barriers
14:28 Exploring Sex Surrogacy
19:37 Choosing a Therapist
19:53 The Triad Therapy Experience
20:42 Invitation to Share Your Story
21:11 Overcoming Fear and Dilator Use
22:16 First Steps with the Surrogate Partner
23:18 Sensate Touching and Emotional Challenges
24:22 The Turning Point
25:43 Achieving Penetration
28:25 Focusing on Pleasure and Education
32:03 Reflecting on the Journey
34:07 Normalizing Vaginismus and Surrogate Use
38:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

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In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman is joined by Emily Rich, who shares her personal journey of questioning her sexuality and coming out later in life. Emily discusses the factors that disconnected her from her sexuality, her ‘wake-up moment,’ and the subsequent process of coming out to herself and others. The conversation explores the intersection of beliefs, upbringing, and self-discovery while highlighting the challenges and rewards of embracing one’s true self. Emily also provides valuable resources and advice for those who may be on a similar path, emphasizing the importance of support and professional help. Tune in for an enlightening and supportive discussion that sheds light on the complexities of sexual identity.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast
00:48 Emily Rich’s Personal Story Begins
02:00 The Wake-Up Moment
03:52 Navigating Identity and Relationships
05:58 Childhood Influences and Survival Strategies
10:54 Therapy and Self-Discovery
13:23 Coming Out and Relationship Challenges
18:52 Impact on Family and Relationships
20:04 Recognizing and Accepting Yourself
20:09 Coming Out to Others
20:29 The Never-Ending Process of Coming Out
20:55 Support from Unexpected Places
22:10 Sexuality in a Heterosexual Marriage
22:36 Purity Culture and Its Impact
26:00 Realizing True Desire
28:38 Resources for Questioning Sexuality
32:45 Final Thoughts and Contact Information
34:34 Podcast Conclusion

Share your personal story on the podcast by emailing us at info@intimacywithease.com

Bio:
Emily Rich is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Medical Family Therapist based in Seattle, WA. For the last decade, she has supported individuals, couples, and families in healing from trauma, disordered eating, and relationship challenges.

Emily is especially passionate about body-based, nervous system-informed approaches, in part because of the impact they’ve had on her own life. Through addressing trauma and reconnecting with her body, she came to understand and embrace her queer identity in adulthood. Today, her personal and professional paths continue to inform one another as she supports others in their own healing and self-discovery.

Documentary: 1946
@emilyofftheclock

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Living with Lichen Sclerosus 

Tammy brings her journey with Lichen sclerosus and the experiences of many other women to light in this episode. We hear everything about what it’s like to live with Lichen sclerosus, its challenges, treatment options, and how to get support. 

What is Lichen Schlerosus? 

Lichen sclerosus is an autoimmune condition where the body attacks itself. It is thought to be genetic. It usually occurs in the genitals, but can also affect other areas of the body, where it can cause itching and discoloration on the wrist, inner thighs and stomach. Lichen sclerosus affects young and old women. 

Tammy’s history with Lichen sclerosus 

Tammy started experiencing extreme itching and burning beginning in her 20s. Others may experience visual symptoms like white patches of skin. At the age of 44, she was diagnosed with Lichen sclerosus after doing a punch biopsy. She believes stress and genetics played a role in her diagnosis. Shame and discomfort made it harder for her to find the right diagnosis and thus she emphasizes the importance of finding the right doctor. 

Impact on sex life 

Tammy warns people against looking up their condition online. She talks about how many women go through this process with unsupportive partners. Other than sexual and mental issues that make sex difficult, pain is a big factor. It can change the way your vulva looks when the labia of both sides fuse and are sometimes absorbed entirely. The vaginal opening can shrink, causing sex to be incredibly painful. Clitoral phimosis is a condition when your clitoral hood fuses with the clitoris making it less sensitive. Other than affecting your sex life directly, it makes even performing menial tasks extremely painful.  

Treatment options for lichen sclerosus

Talking about her history, Tammy says she started off using triamcinolone, a moderate steroid. Clobetasol cream and ointment is the most common treatment that’s specifically used for Lichen sclerosus. Hydrocortisone is used to soothe itching. She talks about the “Monalisa touch” used by Dr Andrew Goldstein who uses a specific machine to improve collagen production. While it may seem like a dermatological issue, many doctors don’t seem to know much about it. 

Impact on Mental health 

This grueling process in which women receive little support is hard on their mental health and sexual health. Tammy says the process of finding the right diagnosis takes its toll. The shame and embarrassment around Lichen Sclerosus can be helped by having a supportive partner. 

Available support 

Women with Lichen sclerosus are at a higher risk of getting vulvar intraepithelial neoplasia and other autoimmune conditions. Tammy found a supportive environment for women who have both Lichen sclerosus and intimacy issues in Facebook support groups. While finding support and acceptance of Lichen sclerosus is hard, it’s helpful to be surrounded by people going through the same thing on this journey.