the book
Sex without stress: a couple’s guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance, and pressure
I wrote Sex Without Stress to bring hope and transformation to all of the couples who are in good relationships but are suffering in their sex lives and don’t see a way forward. It’s totally normal to struggle in your sex life, because at some point you are going to run into common obstacles like sexual dysfunction, lack of desire, or even just a busy life. By changing the way you think about intimacy and relationships, and by working through my 9-phase process, you can transform your sex life. And when your sex life is working, your whole relationship is going to work better.

Short Bio
Jessa Zimmerman is a certified sex therapist and couples’ counselor. She specializes in helping couples who have a good relationship but who are avoiding sex because it’s become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 4 pillar experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life, guiding them to become easily intimate.
She is the author of Sex Without Stress, the host of the Better Sex Podcast, the creator of the Intimacy With Ease Method and is a regularly featured expert in the media, including Refinery29, Business Insider, Mind Body Green, and Marriage.com.
Full Bio
Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy.
In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy.
She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 4 pillar experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life, guiding them to become easily intimate.
Zimmerman received her Master’s in Psychology from LIOS college of Saybrook University and Sex Therapist certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). She has done extensive training in couples’ therapy, with a focus on Crucible® Therapy with Dr. David Schnarch.
She is the author of Sex Without Stress; A Couple’s Guide to Overcoming Disappointment, Avoidance & Pressure. She is the host of the Better Sex Podcast and has appeared on numerous other podcasts as an expert guest. She is the creator of the Intimacy With Ease Method and founder of The Desire Spa, an online course for women with little to no libido. She is a regularly featured expert in the media, including Refinery29, Marriage.com, Business Insider, and Mind Body Green.
She lives in Seattle with her partner.
Interviews
TV Interviews
Let’s Talk Live, WJLA – Holiday Stress
Valentine’s Day – How to invest in your relationship
Good Morning Washington, WJLA – Is your passion crashin’?
Radio
- The Daily Drum (WHUR): Can your relationship survive the holidays?
- Love, Lust & Laughter: Sex Without Stress, Part 2
- Love, Lust & Laughter: Sex Without Stress, Part 1
Video
Podcast Appearances
- Nourish, Balance, Thrive: How to have intimacy with ease
- Lovers’ Lounge: Sexual Avoidance
- Grapefruit and Granola: Tips for improving your relationships
- This is why you’re single: Sex without stress
- Beautifully Equipped: Sex myths and intimacy barriers
- SuperPower U: Manifesting
- Health Reporter: Sexual intimacy
- Sexology: Signs of a healthy sex life
- Keepin’ It Juicy: Sex over 50
- Sacred Psychology: Sex and intimacy
- Divorce Survival Podcast: Let’s talk about sex
- Women in the Middle: Midlife, mindfulness, and sex
- I Do Podcast: Avoid these common sex life pitfalls
- Real Souls: Sex, myths and porn
- I Do Podcast: New relationship rules
- Smashing the Ceiling: Sex, shame and sexual games
- Science of Self Help: Sex therapy with Jessa
- Sexy Marriage Radio: When sex feels like work
- Thrival Nutrition: Improving your sex life with your partner
- Dream Permit Podcast: Keeping sex alive in marriage
- Heart & Hustle: What I do as a sex therapist and Why!!
- Naked Conversations: Better sex with Jessa Zimmerman
- Piloting Your Life: Removing expectations and redefining sex in midlife
- Sacred Psychology: Sex without stress
- The Skin You’re In: A healthy sex life
- The Skin You’re In: Taking the stress out of sex
- Girl Boner: How to break the sexual avoidance cycle
- Doing Divorce Right: How to amazing sex without the pressure
Featured Publications
Articles
- Shape.com: 6 Things Monogamous People Can Learn From Open Relationships
- Mind Body Green: When to Walk Away From a Sexless Marriage
- Mind Body Green: What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Want Sex Anymore
- Mind Body Green: A Couple’s Guide to Having Healthy Expectations Around Valentine’s Day
- Mind Body Green: The Subtle But Powerful Mindset Shift That Can Transform Your Sex Life
- Mind Body Green: Why Parents Should Make Sex a Priority (and 6 ways to do it)
- Mind Body Green: This is the right way to apologize to your partner
- Mind Body Green: 7 Resolutions For Couples to Make that Can Improve Their Sex Life
- Mind Body Green: Will an Emotional Affair Kill Your Relationship?
- Mind Body Green: Is An Open Relationship Right For You? An In-Depth Guide
- Mind Body Green: The 5 Most Common Sexual Concerns, According to a Sex Therapist
- Mind Body Green: The Holidays Can Be a War Zone for Relationships. Here’s How to Come Out Stronger as a Couple
- Mind Body Green: Here’s How to Figure out What REALLY Turns You On, According to a Sex Therapist
- Mind Body Green: Morning Sex is Good for Your Health. Here’s How to Make it Happen
- Mind Body Green: How to Have a Productive Argument According to a Couple’s Counselor
- Mind Body Green: Caught in the Sexual Avoidance Cycle? Here’s how to break free
- Mind Body Green: 8 Steps Toward Healing When Your Relationship is Falling Apart
- Mind Body Green: In a long distance relationship? Here are 4 habits to make it work
- Well & Good: 3 Tips to Make Sure Sleeping in Separate Bedrooms Doesn’t Turn Your SO into Your Roommate
- Blood and Milk: Sex slumps and dry spells
- Refinery29: What It Really Means If You Dream About Cheating On Your Partner
- Refinery29: Yes, Your S.O. Can Be Your Best Friend
- Refinery29: Is the G-Spot a big lie? 3 experts weigh in
- Refinery29: How to sexually arouse yourself when you’re not in the mood
- Prime Women: Is lack of sex behind mid-life divorce?
- Insider: Here’s why you may feel pain after sex — and when you should worry about it
- Insider: Here’s the surprisingly common reason why you might feel sad after sex
- Insider: 9 orgasm myths you need to stop believing
- Insider: 9 unexpected health benefits of masturbation
- Swipe Life: Is there a right way to fight?
- ParentGuide CA: Sex without stress
- Hitched: Escaping the Sexual Avoidance Cycle
- Love Sujeiry: Resentful & Stopped Having Sex? Get It On Again With These Tips
- Marriage.com: How to Find the Best Sex Therapist – Expert Roundup
- Marriage.com: Bring Back Your Sex Drive by Understanding Your Elusive Libido
- DatingAdvice.com: Take Your Relationship to the Next Level