Private Coaching with Jessa Zimmerman
Work With Me Directly — From Anywhere.
Private coaching for couples who want real help with sex and intimacy, on Zoom, wherever you happen to live.
Aimed at what you can change, starting now.
Live in Washington or New Mexico? Therapy is the better route — those links will take you there.
What this actually is
Coaching is the same work, pointed forward
I'm licensed as a therapist in Washington and New Mexico, which means therapy is only an option if you live in one of those two states. Everywhere else, we work together as coaching instead.
There's a common idea that therapy digs backward into the past and coaching looks forward. Honestly, that's how I do therapy anyway. I'm far more interested in what you can change from here than in cataloguing how you got here. So coaching isn't a thinner version of working with me — it's the same approach. Direct, collaborative, and aimed at what the two of you will actually do differently this week.
What changes is the container, not the conversation.
The real differences are worth naming plainly:
- There's no diagnosis and no treatment plan.
- You can't be reimbursed by health insurance.
- The focus is less on processing past trauma and more on action steps forward.
- It's genuinely collaborative — everyone in the room has input, including me.
The practical details
Sessions are paid for at the time you book them. If something comes up, you can move a session as long as you give at least 48 hours' notice and rebook it within two months — otherwise the fee is forfeited.
An honest sort
Is coaching the right fit for you?
I'd rather tell you now than three sessions in.
Coaching is a good fit if…
- You live somewhere I can't practice therapy, and you still want to work with me
- You're a couple, and you're both willing to be in the room
- You want input, suggestions and honest feedback — not just a place to vent
- You're willing to try things between sessions
- Sex has become the problem in a relationship that's otherwise good
Therapy is the better fit if…
- You need consistent, ongoing support with mental health issues
- You or your partner have significant trauma driving what's happening now
- You want supportive reflection and gentle guidance rather than challenge and direction
- You need to use your health insurance
- You're hoping someone will referee and tell your partner they're wrong
If therapy is what you need, I want you to have it.
Therapy in Washington Therapy in New MexicoNot in either state? Coaching is how we work together — and it's real work.
The actual work
What we'd spend our time on
Most couples arrive with the same shape of problem, even though the details are always their own. Sex has become loaded. One of you is bracing, the other is waiting, and neither of you knows how to bring it up without it going badly. That's where we start.
- Taking the pressure out of sex, so it stops being a test either of you can fail
- Getting you talking about this without it turning into a fight or a shutdown
- Understanding what actually creates desire — which is rarely what people assume
- Rebuilding touch and physical connection that isn't a bid for sex
- Repairing the resentment and hurt that has built up around this
- Specific, concrete things to try between sessions — and then looking at what happened
Almost everything written about mismatched desire quietly assumes it's the man who wants more. In my own practice, somewhere between a third and a half of the straight couples I see have the woman as the higher-desire partner. When you don't fit the script, you tend to feel like the only couple in the world who looks like this — and both of you carry an extra layer of shame on top of the mismatch itself. I'm too much. There's something wrong with me. You're not, and there isn't. Whichever side of this you're on, and whoever your partner is, you're in the right place.
How I work
My approach
I have a tremendous amount of compassion for people struggling with sex. I know how much fear you can feel when things aren't going well.
It's easy to think you're broken, or that you're with the wrong person. It takes courage to admit that and to take steps to change it, and I have real respect for anyone who can step through that fear and reach out for help.
I value being kind and approachable and direct, all at the same time. I'm good at building rapport quickly, and I'll put you at ease — because it is completely normal to struggle in your intimate life, and you should hear that from someone who sees it every day.
Sex really can be easy.
It's possible to change how you think about sex — what it is, what it's for, and how it goes — so that you cannot fail at it. Once you get there, sex can be stress-free and playful. My goal is to make the world a better place one relationship at a time. Not only does our own happiness increase, we're more able to make our impact in the world when our relationship is solid.
Where I'm coming from
My values & beliefs
Sex is important.
When people are happy with their sex life, it accounts for about 20% of their relationship satisfaction. When they're unhappy with it, its importance jumps to around 70%. When a couple struggles with sex, it becomes a very big issue and takes a real toll. Our sexuality is a birthright — expressing it can be an experience of pleasure, connection, playfulness, creativity and love. Being cut off from it separates us from a part of ourselves that matters.
There's no better way to grow than doing the work a relationship takes.
We can do a lot of personal work, but it isn't put to the test until we're navigating and negotiating a relationship with someone who matters to us. Our partnership is where we're challenged to grow up. It's our opportunity to learn about ourselves and to transform how we act and react — to become better people.
Respect can involve challenge.
People should confront themselves first, but there's also room to respectfully confront each other. Challenge shows we believe someone can do better — we're speaking to the best part of them, the part that could respond and step up. If we avoid directness, we're effectively treating someone as though they aren't competent to hear us.
Before you apply
Would the course serve you better?
Genuinely — for a lot of couples, it would. And there's nothing stopping you from doing both.
Start here for most couples
Intimacy With Ease® — the online course
Everything I teach couples, laid out as a step-by-step program you work through together at your own pace. It covers the ground we'd otherwise spend several sessions covering, at a fraction of the cost, and you keep access for at least a year. Many couples do the course and never need me in the room at all.
When you want me in the room
Private coaching
One-to-one time with me, on your specific situation, with someone who can hear both of you and say the thing neither of you can say yet. This is the right choice when you've tried on your own and keep landing in the same place, or when you want the accountability of a standing appointment.
Getting started
How it begins
Fill out the coaching application
It asks about your situation and lays out how coaching works and what we're each agreeing to. It takes a few minutes, and it's the part that lets me know what we're walking into.
Book your first session
Once your application is signed, you'll get a link to book. Sessions are paid for at the time you book them.
We meet on Zoom
Fifty minutes, the two of you and me. We'll get clear on what's actually happening between you, and you'll leave with something specific to do about it.
Before you ask
Questions people ask me
What does it cost?
$250 for a 50-minute session, on Zoom. Sessions are prepaid at the time you book them, one at a time — we go as long as it's useful to you and no longer.
How many sessions will we need?
Fewer than you're probably bracing for. Most couples I coach are somewhere in the range of one to five sessions — considerably less than therapy would take, because we're not building a long treatment relationship. We're getting clear on what's actually going on and getting you moving.
I can't promise a number before I've met you. But I'm not interested in keeping you in sessions you don't need, and I'll tell you when I think you've got what you came for.
Can I use my health insurance?
No. Coaching isn't a covered service — there's no diagnosis and no treatment plan, which is part of what makes it coaching rather than therapy. If using insurance matters to you, therapy is what you're looking for, and that's only possible if you live in Washington or New Mexico.
What if I need to reschedule or cancel?
Life happens. Give me at least 48 hours' notice and you can move your session — just rebook it within two months. Inside 48 hours, the fee is forfeited. That window is what makes it possible to hold the time for you in the first place.
Do we both have to come?
Coaching is built for couples, and it works best with both of you there — a lot of what I do is hearing the two of you in the same conversation. If your partner isn't on board yet, say so on the application and we'll figure out whether this is the right moment.
Is what we talk about confidential?
I'll be straight with you about this one, because it's a real difference. Coaching doesn't carry the legal confidentiality protections that therapy does — that protection comes with the therapy relationship, and coaching isn't one.
That said, I treat coaching exactly the same way I treat therapy. What you tell me stays with me. The legal framework is different; how I hold your privacy is not.
I live in Washington or New Mexico. Can I do coaching instead of therapy?
If I'm licensed where you live, therapy is the right route — it's what my license is for, and it gives you protections and options coaching doesn't. See my Washington practice or my New Mexico practice.
How is this different from therapy, really?
In how it feels: much less than you'd think. I work the same way either way — direct, collaborative, focused on what you can change. What's different is the frame around it. No diagnosis, no treatment plan, no insurance, and the work is explicitly about action steps forward rather than processing the past.
You don't have to keep white-knuckling this
If you've read this far, some part of you already knows this isn't going to sort itself out on its own. It doesn't have to be a huge leap — it just has to be a first step.
Let's see if we're a fit.
Start the Coaching Application →Not sure yet? Start with the course — it's where most couples should begin anyway.
Please note
Coaching is not psychotherapy. It does not involve the diagnosis or treatment of any mental health condition, is not covered by health insurance, and is not a substitute for medical or mental health care. If you are in crisis or need urgent support, please contact a licensed provider in your area or your local emergency services.
Intimacy With Ease® is a registered trademark of Intimacy with Ease, LLC. All rights reserved.