Welcome to your quiz: Why do I not have more sexual desire?
The strength of your sex life directly impacts the strength of your relationship. But most couples, over time, will struggle with differences in desire, creating stress, pressure, and even avoidance. How are you going to feel as close and connected to your partner as possible if you don't find a way to actually want sex?
This is why I've taken what I've learned about sexual desire in my years of clinical practice as an AASECT certified sex therapist and created this quiz to help you understand why you may be struggling with lack of desire. You will get your results and suggestions about how to improve via email, as well as ongoing information and ideas about improving your relationship and creating your best possible sex life.
This quiz is designed for people that are in a sexual relationship and who want to look at the interactions between themselves and one specific partner. If you are in a sexless stage of your relationship and the answers don't already account for that, answer the question based on what sex was like when you had it.
"Sex" refers to any sexual encounter, not just penetrative sex.
Please provide your email address below to receive a detailed copy of your results as well as tips for improvement related to the quiz.
Once you finish the quiz, detailed results will be emailed to you. Providing your email address here will subscribe you to my mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time later. I hope you stick around, though! I work hard to make it worth your while.
Does your partner get distant, grumpy or sad if they don't get enough sex?
Does your partner struggle with any issues around arousal, erection, orgasm or other sexual function?
How often do life's responsibilities make it hard to relax and show up for sex?
Do you and your partner communicate about what you want and don't want in sex?
Is it hard to be present in sex?
Do you struggle with anxiety, depression or any other psychological concern that makes it hard to want sex?
Does it feel like sex can fail? That if it doesn't go a certain way, it's a problem?
Do you ever have thoughts that something is wrong with you because you don't have enough desire?
Does your partner do things sexually that you don't like?
Do you ever get in the mood once you get going?
Are you orgasmic with your partner?
Do you know what you need to get aroused?
Does it feel like's it okay to stop a sexual encounter at any point?
Do you have pain with sex?
How often do the two of you fight about sex?
Are you afraid to start something you may not be able to finish?
Are you self-conscious or negatively judgmental about your body?
Do you feel discomfort or shame about sex or your sexuality in general?
Have you had changes in the way your body responds sexually that makes sex harder?
How often do you and your partner create the opportunity to be physical together?
Does your body respond the way you want?
How often are you having sex out of obligation?
Have you ever been orgasmic?
Do you get (or take) the time and touch you need to get aroused?
Have you had any disability, illness, injury, or surgery that affects what you can do sexually?
Does your partner care about your pleasure in sex?
Do you get enough foreplay?
Does your partner focus on the frequency of sex in your relationship?
Have you had sexual trauma in your life that still gets in your way of enjoying sex and feeling totally comfortable?
How much does sex mean one particular act or outcome for you and your partner?
Do you worry you don't know what you're doing?
Do you think you need to do and enjoy certain things?
Has your partner made comments about your body or your sexual performance that made you feel bad?
Have you believed something must be wrong with you, your partner, or your relationship when sex hasn't been working so well?
How often does sex seem to end badly?