How healthy is your sex life? Aug 19, 2025 | 0 comments How healthy is your sex life? See how you score! This is a 30 question quiz. While not a scientific quiz, it does use what I've learned about healthy sexual relationships in my years of clinical practice as a sex therapist. I have designed it to give you an idea of the state of your intimate relationship, over several criteria. You will get your results and suggestions about how to improve via email, as well as ongoing information and ideas about improving your relationship and creating your best possible sex life. This quiz is designed for people that are in a sexual relationship and who want to look at the interactions between themselves and one specific partner. If you are in a sexless stage of your relationship and the answers don't already account for that, answer the question based on what sex was like when you had it. "Sex" refers to any sexual encounter, not just penetrative sex. Please provide your email address below to receive a detailed copy of your results as well as tips for improvement related to the quiz. Once you finish the quiz, detailed results will be emailed to you. Providing your email address here will subscribe you to my mailing list. You can unsubscribe at any time later. I hope you stick around, though! I work hard to make it worth your while. You also get free access to my private, online Q & A webinars. Email address First name I agree to the terms and conditions (see links in footer) Do either of you avoid sex? Yes, all the time Frequently Sometimes Every once in a while No, no avoidance, just a yes or a no None Do you go to bed at the same time? Yes, all the time Mostly Sometimes Not usually No None How often does it seem that sex ends badly? All the time / or We never have sex Frequently Sometimes Occasionally Never, I wouldn't say it's bad no matter what happens None Is there a sexual problem that hasn't been resolved or accommodated? Yes, we have an ongoing problem that is messing everything up / We never have sex Yeah, there's something going on, and it's a roll of the dice every time we have sex Sometimes it gets in the way Every once in a while it's an issue There is no sexual issue OR we've adjusted and moved on None Do you and your partner talk about sex? Yes, easily Yes, basically Sometimes Infrequently No None Does one of you suggest sex and the other respond by ignoring it, deflection, or humor? Yes, all the time / Neither of us ever brings it up Frequently Sometimes Infrequently No None Does one of you just go through the motions in sex? Yes, and they just lie there/make it clear Occasionally, but they go along okay No None How often is one of you having sex out of a sense of obligation? Always Frequently Sometimes Rarely Never None Does one person shame, blame or criticize the other about sex? Yes, all the time Frequently Sometimes Infrequently Never None How frequently do you fight about sex? All the time Frequently Sometimes Infrequently Never None Does one of you ever threaten to leave the relationship over sex? Yes, a lot Sometimes Yes, but it's said calmly, not as a threat We know we have to deal with it to stay together No None How often is one of you doing something sexually they know the other doesn’t like? Never Infrequently Sometimes Frequently All the time / We would if we were having sex None To what degree are you distracted when you have sex? All the time Frequently Sometimes Every once in a while I don't None Are you off in your mind/fantasy during sex? Not at all Rarely Sometimes/just to climax Pretty regularly All the time None Does one of you feel inadequate? Yes I don't know No None Do you struggle to relax and be present for sex? Yes, all the time Frequently Sometimes Every once in a while No None To what degree do you worry that you don’t know what you’re doing? A lot Sometimes I'm learning/open It's rare to be concerned Not at all None Do you generally feel self conscious during sex? Yes Somewhat No None Do you ask for what you want in sex? No Rarely Only subtly Sometimes Yes None Do you know what turns you on? Yes Mostly Somewhat A little bit No None Do you bring any passion or eroticism to the sex that you're having? No Rarely Sometimes Frequently Always None Is frequency of sex an issue in your relationship? Yes Somewhat No None To what degree is sex with your partner about getting to the finish? We just get it over with We're efficient; we take the shortest route We are not in a hurry We take scenic detours The finish isn't the goal; it's a stop along the way None Does one of you do all the initiating of sex? No Mostly Yes None How much energy do you put into making sex and romance interesting – dressing up, buying flowers, sexual surprises, etc? A lot; we keep it new and interesting Pretty much; we're invested Some; sometimes we do new things or make an effort A little; every once in a while we work at it None; we're on auto pilot None How often do you and your partner create the opportunity, on purpose, to be sexual together? Never Rarely Sometimes With regularity Frequently None To what degree do you feel exhausted and overwhelmed in your life, to the detriment of your sex life? We make time, no matter what It's hit and miss Constantly None Is sex at the bottom of the priority list? Yes Somewhat No None Do you keep the plans, appointments and dates with your partner that you set? No/We don't make any Every once in a while Sometimes Usually Always, barring emergencies None Have you followed through with agreements to see a doctor or a therapist about any sexual issues? Yes/we don't have any Eventually/Sort of No None Time's up Submit a Comment Cancel replyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment * Name * Email * Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
