Natalie Frasca Surmeli is here today to talk about stepping into your feminine wild and what it means. This episode talks of awakening feminine desire and pleasure by slowing down and getting familiar with your own body. Natalie shares her insight of pleasure practices, practicing a new way of being and why it matters.
Natalie’s Story – what did she unlock?
Natalie shares the story of her journey that brought her into this path of discovery. Being a mom of 3 at a brink of divorce, overwhelmed and falling into depression, she sought out her therapist’s advice to slow down. The scientist in her rattled between the ideas of the universe guiding her and a lack of proof. When she gave in to the idea she realized that her presence, her actions and what she puts out into the world matters.
She came to a realization that doing more and working harder is not the answer to a fulfilled life. Natalie works with women in teaching pleasure practices to help them slow down and reconnect with their desires, which ultimately leads to a better sex life and intimacy.
Reconnecting with your body – Gender difference
When it comes to exploring self it doesn’t matter where on the gender spectrum you are or who your partner is. Natalie gives yoga, meditation and movement practices as examples to get in touch with your desires. It’s important to be intimate with your body and self before sharing it with your partner.
Advice that drove her away from divorce
Natalie points out advice from her father and later from therapy that drove her away from divorce. To obtain different results you have to start doing things differently. She says it’s a commitment, a process that takes time. It’s intentional work put forth by both partners to grow together. Natalie also talks about introspection. She points out that it’s your partner’s greatest pleasure to please. It’s less of a responsibility and more of a desire and a learning curve to discover what you like.
Natalie gives out a few please practices to implement in getting to know yourself. To explore your body in a sensual way, to discover new areas of your body, she suggests self-oil massage, dance practice with closed eyes and mirror staring in the morning. There’s a number of things we are not taught about our own body and pleasure and it’s time that we explore it. Desire can be accessed in all moments of our life. Awareness practices in which we think about things that make us feel good. Natalie describes these things as the most simple and mundane activities we perform just for the sake of our pleasure. She suggests writing down 3 big to-do things for the day and something else that gives you pleasure. For Natalie, it’s taking a walk in the woods. Make a conscious effort to recognize the simple pleasures of your day and gradually transfer it to sexuality.
Women who want to make a change, Natalie says, they’ve to make a choice. A choice to take out time from their busy life, reach out and make a commitment. For all the time spent in taking care of everyone around, it’s time to regain that energy for yourself.
Benefits of non-sexual pleasure
Natalie emphasizes non-sexual pleasure with self and a partner. Natalie calls to embrace the human being’s desire to be seen and to surrender. The greatest intimacy with a partner or with yourself can be built by exploring your bodies.
Feminine and Masculine energy
Natalie describes feminine energy as desire, surrender, flow and creation. Feminine energy calls to slow down while masculine energy strives to move forward and achieve. A balance is needed to be formed between the two for an individual to embrace it to the fullest. It’s the same for all genders.
How to have a conversation about sexuality with kids?
Natalie offers her insight on how to have conversations with kids about sexuality by giving an example of her daughters. She starts by talking about masturbation. She says it’s their duty to get to know their bodies and to explore their own pleasure before exploring it with a partner. She reflects on her own childhood when these conversations didn’t exist in her catholic family. Unlike her upbringing when she was taught bodies to be shameful, she makes it a principle to encourage these hard conversations in her family. It goes beyond sexuality to everyday tasks. Natalie and her family prioritizes activities that excite them and family time over extra math classes. “It’s about making space to explore other interests”, as Natalie says.
Natalie Frasca Surmeli is the founder of “Tribe of Wolves”, a mentor, coach, speaker and a mom of 3. She guides women to explore their feminine wild by making a “Feminine plan”. She teaches the fundamentals of Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine and Universal Energy and how to tap into these energies every day. She helps women reconnect with their self and bodies using pleasure practices.
Resources and Links:
Training video – https://jessazimmerman.mykajabi.com/video-choice
Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com
The Course – https://www.intimacywitheasemethod.com
The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com
Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com
Access the Free webinar: How to help your partner want more sex without making them feel pressured or obligated: https://intimacywithease.com/free-webinar