How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn
With children being exposed to porn as early as 10 today, Braxton, teaches us how to deal with pornography and kids. He defines porn as content that is intentionally created for a sexual purpose like arousal.
For many parents, the task may seem daunting and confusing to broach. In this episode, Braxton takes us by the hand and explains exactly what we need to do to raise healthy, aware and responsible children.
His advice is to start by knowing your own parameters and values. The journey starts as early as the infant stage where we are encouraged to use the correct terms for body parts. With many kids having access to electronic devices, Braxton expresses how important it is to create a system for your child to respond correctly to unexpected, inappropriate material. He suggests explaining to your kids as young as 6, that if they do come across any naked people on their screens, to call you instead of getting curious and clicking on it.
Talking to your child openly and ensuring that your child knows that they will not get into trouble, helps them approach you therefore Braxton encourages communication. Curiosity comes up as a common thread with children, and we are encouraged to teach them how to respond to that. Braxton explains the three C’s about why your child may look at pornography:
- Clicking (accidental)
As parents, he suggests we respond with these three C’s and explains these in more detail:
- Stay Curious
- Stay Connected
- Stay Calm
Dealing with teens requires a specific approach, as many parents may already have discovered. We learn that approaching teens openly and explaining your rationale to them in line with your values as opposed to dictating to them, works best. While teens are in an exploratory phase, parents may encounter teens using porn for masturbation. Braxton gives us a helpful way to gently correct this while ensuring your teen can still explore their sexual impulses.
Being responsible and not shaming your kids when they enter this phase of their lives is key to keeping an open line of communication and being there to help them into adulthood.
Braxton Duston , LCSW, CST is the Clinical Director at The Healing Group in Salt Lake City Utah. He is also host of the Birds and Bees Podcast. In addition to this Braxton is an adjunct professor of human sexuality at the University of Utah.
With a broad spectrum of experience, Braxton helps couples, dads and parents in unique ways.
Links and Resources
Find him on IG :Birds and bees
Find him on FB: Braxton Dutson