#100- Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield

#100- Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield

Listen to “100: Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield”

Body Kindness 

My guest Rebecca Scritchfield is an exercise physiologist, nutritionist, author of Body Kindness and host of the Body Kindness podcast. She is a strong advocate for body positivity and healthy standards for eating, living, and self-evaluation.  

Rebecca poses the question in this interview: Isn’t your life all that much better when you aren’t worried about the standards of society? Through love, connection, and care, she shares how to be fully committed to yourself and how to have better sex through body kindness. Really valuable advice within. Enjoy! 

#99 – From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness – Jennifer Gunsaullus

#99 – From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness – Jennifer Gunsaullus

Listen to “99: From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness – Jennifer Gunsaullis”

From Sexual Madness to Mindfulness 

My guest is fresh off a book tour for her new book From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. Her name is Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus and she is a sociologist and sex coach with a wealth of knowledge on sexuality and mindfulness. Within this talk she deftly connects her term ‘sexual madness’ with mindfulness, which is an extension of her book and professional work with her clients.  

If you wondering how mindfulness can help you with sexual desire, body image, and to achieve better, well-rounded sex, then listen along and learn. You won’t regret stopping by! 


#98 – BDSM and Kink – Tamara Pincus

#98 – BDSM and Kink – Tamara Pincus

Listen to “98: BDSM and Kink – Tamara Pincus”

BDSM and Kink 

My guest today is Tamara Pincus, who is an AASECT certified sex therapist, an advocate for BDSM and polyamory, and an overall celebrator of the diverse BDSM community. In this episode, she breaks down the fundamentals of BDSM, gives advice on how to start and practice safely, as well as talks about trauma and dissociation and other important topics. As she reminds us, BDSM is really common, so if you’re just getting started, curious, indifferent, or have been practicing for many years, this episode is for you. Enjoy!  


What is BDSM? 

Tamara says that the four letters stand for bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. This essentially means tying your partner up, having power over another, sometimes utilizing pain, and things of that nature. 

She says that a lot of typical intercourse can be seen as versions of BDSM, given that there is usually a power dynamic at play. This can be considered an offshoot of BDSM  meaning that intercourse can be seen as a continuum of sorts on the BDSM spectrum. 

She says that role-play can also fall within the same category. For more on her BDSM ideas, listen in! 

BDSM for Healing from Trauma 

Tamara says that BDSM can actually lead to breakthroughs in sexual trauma. Someone who has experienced a specific kind of sexual trauma can claim and have mastery over their trauma through a BDSM act. Tamara says that healing can occur if the trauma victim feels better emotionally or experiences positive feelings afterward. 

When asked how sexual partners can engage in BDSM in a safe, non-intimidating way, she says that it’s important to have a safe word or safe signal, as well as make sure there is agreed-upon consent between all participants. She also makes the good point that couples should get kink training and be cognizant about health conditions before doing rope play or breath play, and various other activities of the same category. 

To find a local dungeon or similar setting where you can learn these techniques, Tamara says to make sure you check out https://fetlife.com/.  

The “Top” and “Bottom” Dynamic 

Tamara says there’s generally two distinct dynamics at play during any BDSM proceeding: the bottom and the top. The top is the dominant player, while the bottom is the receiver. There can be a flexible interplay of differing power dynamics as the top can also function as the bottom at the same time. 

Tamara makes it a point to remind listeners that the top needs to be completely aware of the wellbeing of the bottom given that dissociation can happen. After all, a lot of the draw of BDSM comes from the fantastical aspects of the act, so altered mental states are common. 

Legitimate BDSM Versus The “Fifty Shades” Version 

Tamara says that one of the biggest mistakes of Fifty Shades of Gray is that it doesn’t understand the concept of non-concordance. This basically means that just because something turns you on physically doesn’t mean you’re emotionally turned on as well. Basically, your body is not lining up with your mind in this instance.  

How to Start & What to do if a Partner Isn’t Into BDSM 

She suggests a few books that you can find below in the “key links” section, as well as the aforementioned FetLife community. She suggests being careful, using the right equipment, make sure you have ways of getting out of any equipment, and having open conversations about boundaries and consent with your partner.  

For those who have partners who are not into BDSM, she says that you need to have frank conversations about likes and desires. She says that you can try and fight your sexuality, but it might be a losing battle. It’s best to explore options with your partner and see if there are compromises that can be made. Communicating about expectations is important! 

Key Links for Tamara:  

Her website: https://www.tamarapincus.com/  

The social network for BDSM and Kink communities: https://fetlife.com/  

Affliate links for her book: It’s Called Polyamory 

The New Bottoming & The New Topping 

Yes-N0-Maybe Kinky List: http://www.thatotherpaper.com/files/Yes_No_Maybe.pdf  

Worksheet For Talking to Partners About Sex: https://www.autostraddle.com/you-need-help-here-is-a-worksheet-to-help-you-talk-to-partners-about-sex-237385/  

RoughBSAndKinky: http://sunnymegatron.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/ROUGH-BS-1.pdf  

More info and resources:
How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com
Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass
Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast
Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

















#96 – [Personal Story] – Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality – Matty

#96 – [Personal Story] – Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality – Matty

Listen to “96: [Personal Story] Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality – Matty”

Orthodox Judaism and Sexuality 

My guest, whom I will call Matty, grew up in an orthodox Jewish family. In this personal story, she shares her unique perspective on her upbringing and how it has affected her life from sexuality to marriage and more.  

Within this episode she shares a lot of the challenges of her religion, but also the beautiful aspects of her marriage that speak so profoundly to her sexuality and womanhood. This is a great educational opportunity for non-orthodox listeners and will only serve to widen the dialogue on sexuality as a whole. An important perspective from a great guest; listen along! 


#86: [Reprise] Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

#86: [Reprise] Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

Listen to “86: [Reprise] Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are”

Come As You Are

My guest today is the acclaimed author of the best selling, Come as You Are. Emily has been a sex educator since 1995, where she put her education to good use (psychology, cognitive science, and philosophy). Quickly, she realized that sex education, woman’s well-being, and violence prevention was far more fulfilling work for her personally. So, she made the switch from more neuro-centric work to that of the sex-education realm. And that switch has made all of the difference for the countless people who have benefited from Emily’s work in the field. 

She has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with an emphasis in human sexuality, and the list of her qualifications could go on.  And within just seconds of this interview, you will immediately understand just how smart and articulate Emily is. Listen in.  


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