Scheduling sex is one of the worst pieces of advice people get. And it’s going to make sense to you why this is by the end of this post.

Now, I’ll tell you that if scheduling sex fixes your problem, if that’s all it takes to make you and your partner both happy, then the only issue you had was one of finding time and prioritizing intimacy. Great.
But for most people, that is not their problem.
The actual problem is that one of you is really interested in sex, and the other isn’t. One of you has little to no libido. One of you is starting to feel like sex is a chore or a burden or an obligation. One of you may be starting to avoid sex altogether.
Putting sex on the calendar is only going to make that worse.
Let me say that again. Scheduling sex is basically the worst thing you can do.
Why do some many “experts” tell you to do it? They’re missing the point. They are thinking that the person with little desire can prepare, they can know it’s coming, they can ‘get in the headspace.’ And maybe that even works for a short time. but what’s going to happen is the person is going to start to dread that date. They’re going to go through the motions, like they are checking something off the to do list. They’re going to start making excuses and avoiding it, too.
Putting it on the calendar only increases the sense that this a chore and an obligation. How is it going to help someone want sex just because we put it on the calendar for 8 pm next Sunday?
The problem is that you are scheduling something very specific. No matter how we feel, we are supposed to show up and have sex.
Think about it. It’s like deciding that you’re going out for a 4 course Italian meal every Friday at 6. What if you aren’t hungry? What if you don’t feel like Italian food? What if you’re not feeling that connected to your partner? Just because you say ‘we’re going to have sex next Sunday at 8’ doesn’t do anything for someone’s DESIRE for sex. And desire is key to your sex life working.
I have a video for you about helping your partner want more sex.

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